How to Deal with a Food Addiction (One Woman's Perspective)

Last year I went to a new OBGYN. I was filling out the normal paperwork and something hit me when I get to the family medical history.
”List any immediate family members that have had cancer.
Relative: Mother. Age when diagnosed: 39.”
Wait. 39? That couldn’t be right. I did the math. It was. I was 33. Only 6 years away from the age my mother got breast cancer, a disease that took her life at age 45. The realization put me in a fog.

I am overweight and have been since adolescence. I realized a few years ago that my weight gain is driven by food addiction. I eat compulsively to try and fill a void in my heart or mind. I eat to fix problems I can’t solve or to forget about the things I can’t control. I eat when I'm bored, sad, happy, celebrating… there's an eating binge for every occasion.

While my life didn’t dramatically change that day, it still stands out as a turning point to understanding that dealing with my eating habits was only going to get harder and cause me more problems the longer waited. I remember it being a piece of what started many small steps to finally working towards a healthy, strong body. While today I still have a long way to go, and I understand now that it needs to be a constant vigilance the rest of my life, I can finally say that I feel in control of what I’ve largely ignored my whole life. I am losing weight, controlling my portions, moving my body, and finally feeling good about it instead of smothered by it. So, what’s changed? I wanted to share with you some of the key pieces in shifting my mindset and relationship with food.

Go to Therapy

Crucial. You must put in this work to discover your food addiction triggers, learn to grieve your mistakes and tragedies, and find new ways to cope. As far as I’m concerned, therapy is a non-negotiable, but often our finances prevent us from being able to. You may be able to do this work with a support group, such as Over Eaters Anonymous. There may also be some free clinics in your area, and you could even try online counseling. But you can’t skip the work. My therapist really gave me space to dig deep into the things that caused my food addiction: my guilt about my mother’s death, the subsequent drug addictions and arrests of my siblings, and being discharged from the Navy. My perception of my failures was causing a destructive cycle of giving up as soon as something went remotely off plan.

Be Completely Honest with Yourself

For most of my life I ignored my food addiction. I told myself that I work out, I eat vegetables, I love myself, and I am fat and it’s fine. It’s great, actually, because it also means I don’t conform to toxic idealistic beauty standards, and being thin is bullshit anyway so I’m good.
To some extent, I still believe that. But I recently had a conversation with my dad, who’s current wife is a doctor, and he said some really sobering things. My increased risk for diabetes and cancer. The added pressure to my joints. I’m not getting any younger.
Being able to admit that my eating eating habits were hurting me (giving me limited mobility, making me feel bloated and sad, and putting me at risk for chronic disease) was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Admitting a weakness has never been something I’ve been able to do. I’m guessing most of you feel the same way about it. Being a victim of something is so gross to me that I was disgusted at the idea that I have a condition that was out of my control. It is, however, by far the most important piece to empower me to do something about it.
Throw out all your excuses. You don’t have time for them anymore.

Let Go of Perfection

Eating a piece of pie or too many pancakes one day doesn’t give you an excuse to give up the rest of the week. “Falling off the wagon” doesn’t mean you have to toss yourself so far that it takes months to crawl back to it. This all or nothing mentality has held me back for years. If I gained a pound, I thought, “well I obviously can’t do this, so I might as well not try anymore.” No.
Expecting perfection is a fixed mindset and will keep you from growing.

Make a Meal Plan

I write a weekly meal plan every Sunday. Well, most Sundays. I find knowing what I am going to eat significantly reduces my anxiety. I don’t spend hours trying to figure out what I want for lunch or impulsively buying fried noodles from the Thai food cart down the block.

Keep a Food Journal

I know. I know, it super sucks. But, it’s the only thing that keeps me mindful of what I eat. If have to log it, I think a little more about what I’m putting into my body. Some people just cut out certain foods and it works for them. For me, I find I have massive mood swings when I cut out foods that help me produce serotonin, and I often will break down and binge eat potatoes and sugar and noodles if I cut them out of my diet. However, there are plenty of people that swear by the popular Keto or Paleo way of eating. Others claim a vegan diet has been the key to their success. I’ve also heard several friends lately say that simply only allowing an 8 hour window to eat has changed their life.
What we often don’t discuss is that any diet emphasizes whole foods, more vegetables, better hydration, and moderate intake, so as long as you stay in that lane, you’re probably okay. I currently use MyFitnessPal to track what I eat and my workouts. I also do make an effort to give myself at least a 12 hour period between dinner and breakfast to digest and reset for the day.

Exercise

I can’t say I’m a big fan of exercise, but I am a big fan of being strong. I love being able to get up off the floor easily and hike a hill without wanting to die. So I try to stay focused on that. I do some kind of extra movement everyday. Whether that’s a 60 minute walk, a 30 minute swim, a 20 minute strength routine, or Zumba class, I get it done. Most of my workouts come from Aaptiv, which I love for their high energy trainers and wide variety of audio workouts. I don’t have to follow a video or wait for a class. I like the gym or the walking trails near my house, but there are plenty of free workout options at home. I really like the YouTube channels Yoga with Adrienne and POPSugar Fitness. There also a lot of workout options on my Highway to Health Pinterest Board.

Take Care of Yourself

Brush your teeth. Drink water. Talk to your friends. Dump toxic people. Do the dishes. Organize your closet. Wash your face. Go to bed. Sleep. Get up. Get dressed. Do it again.

Feel Your Feelings

Another hard one. I often eat to “feel better” instead of just letting myself feel sad about something. I let my stresses and grief build up until I am on the couch shoveling pizza into my face for three days in the dark. It creates a bunch of hurdles to bounce back from that place too. If you find something happening in your body that is a response to stress or anxiety, you have to take a time out. Lay in bed quietly and focus on your mind and heart, ask yourself questions, figure out what’s going on and feel through it. Don’t avoid it, and don’t eat it away.

Final Thoughts

Full disclosure, I’m still fat. I’m only two weeks in to this new project of dealing with my food addiction. But it feels better than my typical weight loss efforts. Now it’s not about the number, it’s about creating an ideal lifestyle where I feel vibrant and strong. I hope I can sustain it, because it feels great so far.